clarity

not sure exactly what did it.

perhaps the daily kundalini yoga i have taken up. i've practiced iyengar for the past 10 years, did teacher training, studied in india... and recently i have found kundalini. it is so much more inspiring to me right now, and helping me to heal faster by opening the heart and moving the spine. i love it. i'm motivated. thanks to my neighbor for turning me on to it.

or perhaps it is the homeopathic medicine i have been taking. i prescribed myself by reading "emotional healing with homeopathy" and it has helped so much in putting a bit of a handle to all the crying. i feel so much more positive and energized. i highly recommend this book.

or perhaps it was the recent visit of my adoptive family, my mom, sister and my niece. it is rare they all come to california (my sister lives in florida and my mom in phlly area), we had a great time together and it made us all closer. even though we visited palm springs and joshua tree during the 110 heat wave.

or perhaps it is the call i received from my birthmother the other day, wondering if we were still speaking and apologizing for the last conversation. i think we have an understanding and basically see the world similarly. except for my homeopatic medicine, she's tried every anti-depressant pill under the sun.

or perhaps it was the information that i found out about my now ex boyfriend who dumped me in the last couple posts. well i found out he started seeing someone else while we were still together, which he lied to me about, and i proceeded to lose all respect for him and have deleted him from my files. it is weird how much easier it is to get over someone after something like that. you can never really trust that person again, so there is no chance of ever being together, DIS-connect. of course i still miss him in some way, but thanks, loser. didn't need to waste anything more of me on you. two and a half years is enough.

or perhaps it is the fact that this weekend i will be going up to san francisco for the summer with my cat rosoce. i can't wait to get a bit of my spiritual self back, and see all my friends. it feels like it's gonna be a good summer despite the recent occurence.

it feels good to be happy.